For the majority of women, hysterectomy is elective surgery. However, it seldom feels that way. As our post bag testifies, in many cases from the moment a woman presents at the doctors’ surgery with a gynaecological disorder, she “feels as if she’s on a conveyor belt with little information, choice or support”. Post-operatively, after a few days in hospital, she is passed medically fit and discharged to contemplate how this piece of elective surgery may affect the rest of her life and her relationships.

Removal of the uterus may be undertaken for a number of medical reasons although it is only performed to save life in relatively few cases. Whatever the primary indication, hysterectomy may be accompanied by alterations in sexuality that may occur for a variety of biological and psychological reasons. For instance, some research has shown the important role that the cervix plays in the experience of orgasm. This organ is routinely removed during total hysterectomy in the UK even when it is healthy. In other instances the symptoms necessitating hysterectomy may have disturbed the closeness of the relationship to such an extent that the couple find resumption of intimacy difficult when the physical problem has disappeared.

For some women, however, sexual problems occurring after the operation may be a continuation or further evolution of previously existing difficulties. Some women, who may have experienced years of pain or discomfort through their condition, may be so negatively conditioned towards sexual activity that they abstain or avoid sexual activity post-operatively.

However, for many women, the opposite reaction occurs. Freed of the symptoms as a result of surgery, a woman may find her sexual responsiveness reawakened. With myriad different reactions possible, it is perhaps not surprising that post-operatively there is an increased incidence of depression when compared with the after effects of other major surgery.

The success of the operation then depends upon two things, each as important as the surgeon’s skill; the woman’s self esteem and the partners reaction.

Research has shown a crucial link between information giving and the perception of being cared for by health professionals. Women who present their bodies to medics without knowledge or understanding of the what, why and after effects, suffer considerably more post-operative complications than the woman who insists on knowing as much as possible and feels in control at all times [except whilst under the anaesthetic of course!] After all, a woman is the greatest expert in the world on herself.

The woman’s husband or sexual partner is the second most important factor in determining the success of surgery. Most men (and quite a few women) don’t understand the nature of the female anatomy or the functional results of hysterectomy, and may harbour many misconceptions regarding sexuality after the operation. If the man equates removal of the uterus with loss of libido or diminished femininity, he may inadvertently avoid sexual interaction with her. Men who appear indifferent to uterine removal, may actually feel anxious or guilty about subsequent sexual activity with their partner.

A hysterectomy can be seen as a unifying experience, one that the couple face together, talking and listening to each others needs, communicating their feelings as they change day by day.

With the right support network in place, which should include her partner as well as medical staff, there is no reason why a woman’s sexual function cannot improve following recuperation from the operation. If health-care professionals take the time that is necessary to assuage fears and doubts regarding such operations and provide a reasonable amount of factual information to both the woman and her sexual partner, few sexual difficulties will ensue postoperatively. However, whilst counselling is routine prior to sterilisation or vasectomy, no such norm exists for hysterectomies. As with all types of surgery that may have an impact on sexuality, such counselling ought to be a routine part of the care for a hysterectomy patient.

Recommended Reading:

star buy Losing the Woman Within – £5.50. is essential reading for everyone who feels they are alone and emotional following a hysterectomy.

Recommended Resources:

51 Responses to “The emotional impact of hysterectomy”
Read them below or add one

  1. Hayley Martin says :

    i had a abdominal hysterectomy and bso nearly 3 weeks ago.I was so focused on relieving the chronic pain of adenomyosis that i never realised the emotional havoc it causes. I have been so terarful snd thinking so illogically that i am slipping down a slope into depression. I commenced HRT pre op but consultant is going to change it at 8 weeks post op,are my feelings normal?

    with Thanks

    1. I m feeling that now, nearly 4 weeks after my op.
      I see your post was last year. How are you now? How did you move forward?

      1. Hi Joanne

        I am also feeling exactly the same and have a couple of good days then tearful days….. one person told me for every negative thought you have, try and think of 3 positives. Im working on that now. Have you tried any natural remedies?

  2. so relieved my syptoms are normal, why is there not councelling post op as standard. I spoke to my doctor, my husband and i have relationship problems so part of me has been putting the lack of self-esteem and mood swings to the fact that we are still not getting along.

    So i made a appointment with my doctor who put me in touch with steps to wellbeing dorset. I had appointment today as a refferal . It is not a councelling referal for post -op, i am dissappointed. The lady was very nice and has made an appoint.ment for me to group discussion. But it isnt , i feel the way forward.

    Will i have to pay privatley to get the councelling i need post-op/?Ive been feeling really low in myself for 3 months, i hate my body because of the scarring, i dont want my husband to touch me without my clothes on.

    My thoughts are about leaving him because he would be better off without me.

    1. My thoughts are with you. Please try to see yourself as the brave and amazing person you are. No one is better off without you. You are a person and you are a woman and you belong wherever you are. I wish I could give you a smile but I am sending you some light. I am nearly five weeks post surgery on TVH and I feel for you.

      Please know you matter. You really do. Chin up… I know its hard when youre feeling sad and scared. My thoughts are with you.

    2. I often think this way, about my husband and children being better off, but it’s not true. If you look deep down inside, you ll feel that love for him and if you talk or try something new, date nights, meals out and cosy night in, spark might happen to get the conservation flowing. If you don t talk about how you feel, you may never find happiness. It may not be with your husband but you owe it to yourself to try.
      I m sure you ve fought for a long time to be well. That fight never stops, it’s life. And living requires talking and trying. If you feel you can t do that anymore, you need to speak to a doctor or a close friend, even a stranger, to find a way forward. Your light at the end of the tunnel is waiting for you, just like mine is, sometimes it takes a lot of digging to find it.
      I d love to know how you re getting on now. :)

      1. I was 42 and married 6yrs trying for a child . I was diagnosed with endromitiis cancer in April 2013 and in end of May 2013 I had the full hysterectomy . I was given no Pre counselling .
        After the operation I was ill and on bed for 6 months due to infection wound opening and other problems.
        Prior to the operation my husband and I were a very close couple , after the op he started to change .
        He works long hrs as a taxi driver he used to go at 4pm and return at 5am and days off go and sit with mates till same time
        I come from a big famy and before the operation mum and sisters said they would support me through everything but a day after I came back they all stopped talking and contacting me . I fell so alone I used to sit up all night till hubby came back and when he used to come back he used to be too tired to talk. In the day all he did was watch TV or sit playing candy crush
        Then in January 2014 mum died . In a space of 8 months I lost my exsistance and my future .
        I had to move in too mums to look after my teenage brothers
        Things still haven’t changed i put on my face infront of everyone . All dolled up but inside I’m dying . I feel alone and scared , I have panic attacks sometimes after the panic attacks I call my husband just to talk because I’m scared but he is always to busy talking to his friends . I once checked his FONE 2 weeks ago and in 24 hrs that he had worked he is talking to his friends for upto 18 hours
        Every 2 hours the mobile stops the he rings again.
        I have tried so hard to talk to him and tell him what I am going through but he doesn’t understand
        I’m at breaking point he’s leaving he’s told his family back in Pakistan she’s not good to me ,she suspects me , she checks my fone
        All I want is for someone to care for me to hold me I feel dead from inside
        He objects to the fact that why don’t I feel like this with the boys . Why don’t he understand the boys are orphans I dont want them to feel as bad as they already do after loosing mum if Im all depressed it will kill them seeing me like this
        Sometimes I just ..

    3. Hi Joy, you may be able to access counselling for yourself through your GP free of charge. There are often NHS counsellors attached to surgeries. However, if it’s relationship counselling you are after you will need to contact Relate. They have an offices in Dorchester, Bridport, Shaftesbury, Yeovil and Blandford.

  3. I’m in my early 40s and had premature ovarian failure (early menopause) when i was in my late 20s after a myomectomy my periods stopped. However, i had an abdominal hysterectomy 7 weeks ago but the cervics was left intact due to adhesions it was decided during surgery, that was the best option othetwise it may have left me incontinent had they removed it. My surgeon said i had gross adhesions my organs were stuck together ie bowels, bladder, womb, cervics etc so they had to divide everything to remove the womb, tubes and ovaries. I’ve had the best care from my consultant and the hrt team who’ve looked after me two years after my premature menopause. But before that i had to deal with everything myself never had conselling and it’s been tough for me. Sometimes i felt like giving up. Now after the hysterectomy 7 weeks ago i am feeling so low, teary all the time i just keep thinking of what happened during the myomectomy years ago, am having flash backs and feel sad about the whole thing. I feel emotionally drained. I accepted years ago that i would never have children the day they told me that my ovaries had ceased. Because they say when you’ve gone through menopause before having hystetectomy you do not feel anything so why am i feeling like this? I’ve also got joint pains and i feel tired with no energy all the time. Thank you!

    1. HI Del, firstly it’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do so don’t be hard on yourself. Firstly you’ll be having a reaction to the surgery itself this, then the fact that your ovaries and womb have removed will have an impact on your hormone levels – which will be all out of kilter too. Finally, you’ve just had major surgery. Give yourself some time and things will improve.

  4. Hi, I am 37, two weeks ago today, I just had an abdominal hysterectomy, both ovaries and tubes were removed-I had large cysts on both ovaries and suffered from terrible periods. I am moving around pretty good. One of my main problems is that I feel sick a lot of the time-does anyone else feel sick after having this surgery? My other problem is that my emotions are all over the place. I am single, my Mom has been a God send during this ordeal but I feel so very alone. I have concerns/fears about having sex with someone new after having this surgery. I’m not dating or have anyone in mind so it might be silly to worry about this now but I worry none the less….will I work “down there”,’will I need lubricant? Who will want to be with me? So forth…
    I had my tubes tied after my second son was born 11years ago-BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, I had always hoped to have the reversal done…but now…I know that I will never have more children. No one seems to understand how badly this is affecting me. I see a newborn at the store and all I want to do is blaw my eyes out. I am so tired all the time, I feel alone and empty. Is this normal? And sick, I feel sick. I don’t get sick very often and brush it off when I do, so why do I feel sick now?

    1. It’s perfectly normal to have an emotional reaction to the surgery – it may be driven by how you feel or by things like the anaesthetic, but it is common. If it is purely about your emotions and coping with the sense of loss then it may be worth talking with a counsellor who could help you deal with that.

      1. I don’t understand why no one has brought up fact the that your hormones are no longer being produced by your ovaries and that is what causes the emotions you are feeling. Once your body adjusts to the lack of hormones and/or your doctor prescribes hormone replacement, you should be feeling better. I will possibly be having my uterus removed but not my ovaries; also I am post menopausal and 59 years old, so I’ve known for a long time I won’t have more children. My question is, will my emotions be affected with the uterus removal?

        1. For some women the removal of the ovaries can cause emotional upset, mostly because of the testosterone that is no longer being produced. However, it’s by no mean universal and many women seem to have no noticeable effect whatsoever. It’s also important to understand that surgery of any type can cause emotional upset as it’s one way the body has of coping with the trauma as well as the effect of anaesthesia. Your hormone balance will be affected by the surgery – this may be a temporary thing or it may be more permanent as in 50% of women their ovaries fail much earlier than expected.

          1. > I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago and left the ovaries. Why are my emotions all over the place? I am worried about it. I am also having trouble sleeping. Any help is much appreciated.

          2. All sorts of things affect your emotional state after a hysterectomy Shelley including the anaesthetic which can cause the post surgical blues, your hormones because they will be in a bit of disarray until they settle down and your body’s reaction to the surgery itself. All of these should settle down by themselves in time.

  5. I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago and still have waves of nausea and have had similar emotion responses. I don’t think I understood how hard this would be emotionally.

    1. i am the same will be 5 weeks today for mine,i have good days and bad days ,where i think am just about to start to feel ok then the next day will be pain again nausea and just feeling exhausted xx

      1. That’s quite a normal cycle when you’re recovering – it will get better for longer but it takes time.

    2. Everyone recovers in different ways Tesse, there is no norm and it’s OK to have the experience you do :-)

  6. I was informed yesterday during a routine annual exam, that ended up lasting 4 hours and a uterine biopsy later. That I would need to have a hysterectomy done. They did the biopsy because he said there were polyps. No medication at all for this procedure, I really didn’t think that it would be too painful but sure enough I was surprised by the pain all evening. That was the least of my worries, sitting there alone is when the doctor said That I needed a hysterectomy. I am 34 with 2 children, I really did not plan on having more children, never did I think that I would have to have a hysterectomy. My uterus is tilted and because of the difficult childbirth I had it is prolapsed also. I feel so lost and I cant stop crying. I feel like I am loosing part of my womanhood. My boyfriend is treating me as if I have the plague, which is just making things worse emotionally for me. He is 50 and had a vasectomy many years ago so I ruled out him being upset about no more children. I feel so alone.

    1. I’m 10 days post surgery my cervix and uterus was removed, I’m 36 yrs old. and like yourself it was a total shock for me when I was told I felt the same feelings you are feeling and it’s perfectly understandable. Maybe your boyfriend is afraid and don’t understand enough about the surgery, maybe going to the doctors with you and have the doctor explain to him about the procedure and even try therapy. I hope all goes well with you and your family. On a brighter note I feel much better now that it’s over there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

    2. Your reaction is all too common and it’s OK to feel as you do Betty. It’s a big shock and you will naturally feel that a part of life has ended. However, it might be worth talking with the boyfriend in more detail because it may be that he’s just worried or frightened himself.

  7. since last February 2013 i have put mine back because i am scared of the mental and physical effects,i have gone from diagnosis to having marine coil fitted and is still having periods for ten days along with headaches,pain in hips and legs, putting on weight like no tomorrow, also tiredness,moodiness is killing me, reading all your experience is helping me rethink for the summer hols,as it wont effect my work as a s.n.a,however , how long is the the recovery period overall, do you ever feel normal and comfortable in your own body

    1. Recovery takes time Rose, as much as 13 weeks in the majority of cases and yes you will feel comfortable and normal, but in time :-)

  8. I had a complete/radical hysterectomy coming up on 8 years next month. I was 30 when I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Its still devastating to me that I won’t be able to have more babies. It definitely left a hole in my life. On a good note though,I don’t miss the non stop periods. Mine would last for months,the doctors never did find a reason. My sister who’s now in her mid thirties has the same problems unfortunately she has never had the joy of pregnant or motherhood something she tried so hard to have but hasn’t happened. I’m very lucky to have my beautiful daughter,the doctors told me that I probably wouldn’t get pregnant. I ran into a cashier today who told me she thought she was pregnant even though her tubes were tied”it happens” she was not happy about a possible pregnancy. Me on the other hand I’d be thrilled to be pregnant again. It must be nice for women to choose when their done having babies,rather then hoping and praying that it happens and being told you can’t. 8 years latter and I still have a hard time

  9. Hi. I am 8 weeks out from a vaginal hysterectomy, removed everything but ovaries. My Right ovarie was attached to my organs and when they cut it loose they couldn’t tell me if it would function normally. I expected to be back to normal by this point but It seems like every weeks I’ve slipped a little farther down emotionally. I have started having anxiety attacks for the first time ever and am being treated with medication for those and with an anti depressant. I just feel so bad physically and emotionally. I don’t feel like I’m being a good mother yo my 3 children all still small.. 8 down to 3, because I just feel so bad but in all reality I am giving 100% of me to them even if it is lacking and saving nothing for myself or my husband. I found this site last night and I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know the emotions, the physical pain in muscles and just all over body achea, lack of energy and severe fatigue and insomnia is actually a “norm” for other people and not just me. I honestly felt like I was crazy, that I should be better by now. It helps to know there are other people out there and I’m not alone! Thank you for that!!!

    1. You are very welcome Kim and I’m glad we’ve helped. You may also be starting to experience the menopause too .. it’s worth bearing that in mind as that would give you similar emotional reactions on top of those you get during recovery.

  10. Hey it s been 4months seens I had surgery they took it all out but my problem is that I didn’t have kids at all I am 33 years old what can I do to control my emotions an feeling the way I do am at my breaking point an I don’t know what to do

    1. You probably need to speak to your GP about getting some counselling support.

  11. Hi
    I am a 45 year old woman and I had my abdominal hysterectomy 5 weeks ago, i have one ovary left as other had a cyst and i had the beginnings of cancerous cells taken from my cervix …. all went well and glad it is gone and i have no pain or bleeding fab!!! but …. i am so emotional to the point of nearly breaking up with my partner as i’m so needy at the moment ,can sob not cry my heart out for no reason at all and to be honest i was told i would get emotional but not like this it is so unlike me but i hate it
    i am hoping it is going to settle soon , but i think because my job is an active one and i am on the go all the time to sit around and not being able to do much is not helping. So am hoping i feel better when i get back to work .

    1. Lynn holloway says :

      I am 44 years old, had my hysterectomy on 30 January.. All went well had quite a lot of pain, but that definitely seems to have got a lot better in the last week. I have two children age 13 and 7, I had surgery last August to try and resolve the problem of the heavy bleeding that I have suffered and the endometriosis for many years, didn’t work this is why I ended up having a hysterectomy. My husband works away in the week so it is quite hard with the two children on my own, especially now the emotions have kicked In, I just cry For no reason at any time it’s awful, just makes you feel so low!! Such a busy person running the freelance hairdressing business and seeing different people every day!! I do how you getting back to work will make me feel better as I can’t carry on feeling like this!!

      1. You might want to talk to your GP about getting your hormone levels checked Lynn :-)

  12. Kathy Grile says :

    I’m 2 years post op TAH…this was not elective…ovarian cancer.
    I had the typical depression issues as a teen. This is absolutely crazy. Since my TAH, I have no energy…to even get out of bed, no sex drive, I could actually care less what goes on outside my front door. I can’t ever remember, as a teen, being this depressed!! I didn’t really have a strong support system before, during out after my TAH. My husband has all but given up on our marriage and in my present state of mind, I couldn’t care less. I’m about 20% sure I don’t mean that but if this is another “side effect” of my surgery…I guess it was meant to be (or wasn’t meant to be…)

    1. I cannot speak to your current state of mind, or to whatever events may have contributed to it beyond that of the surgery. I am 42 and am in the final stages of physical recovery following a total vaginal hysterectomy. I am most definitely in a mourning period and I read your post and it touched me.

      I am no expert on depression although I have experienced bouts of depression close to the one you describe.. periods of time where I was wracked with emotional responses to the smallest things, and didn’t much care what happened to me or around me.

      My only piece of advice or words to you are that you matter. You really REALLY do. Know that for yourself. Not for your husband, or a coworker, or your salary, or a clean house or anything that most people consider as a contributing factor to “productivity.”

      YOU are part of this world. You are still connected to life and to breath, and to all that keeps moving here. Youre a part of all of that. I dont know that it will offer you comfort, but its the truth and it is what is pulling me through this rough patch. Hysterectomy represents a loss, and if it comes with the removal of the ovaries then certainly the intense hormonal changes do not perform any additional favors.

      You matter. Always. I hope you know that.

    2. It may not be a side effect of the surgery, but is almost certainly the menopause kicking in. It would be worth chatting with your GP about the things you can do – there are non-oestrogen HRT’s available you could try. Alternatively, you get hold of Marilyn Glenvilles book, The New Natural Alternatives to HRT as that will give lots of hints and tips about getting your verve back.

  13. I had a hysterectomy the day after Christmas . I’m 44 ,and I didnt ….well im obiously to old for anymore children. So with severe endometriosis for the Dr said 20 years…i have suffered,always thinking it was just a painful period,as I have always had. Now, I lost alot of hair…even with one ovary left ,cervix out uterus and left ovary removed ,right left.I still had to get a hormone shot,Im going through fits if rage,severe sadness,heartbreak, and feeling lonely even when my family us here.IF a person isnt pysically hurt to the eye,noone can truly understand what your going through, especially if others have never had surgery . Very saddened,and hoplessness feelings.Im having abdominal pains still and weining myself off pain meds as I have had trouble using the bathroom, im sure due to pills,im tired,sluggish , dont want to go out, really see anyone, what to do?

  14. I was 24 years old and had a total hesterctomy. Now im 26 years old.i have 3 beautiful daughters. And married for 9 years now.but I break down all da time.i cry for every small thing I get angry so fast.feel like killing on premarin.but really I feel mentally unstable.i get lots of pain.i get weak all da tired.i feel totally sick all da time.dont know what to do.hate this feeling.get tensed muscles on my neck and shoulders to a point wer da doctor has to give me 4 injections in my neck and put me on a neck brace for 2 weeks.hate dis feeling.y me?

    1. You need to get the HRT sorted out as it sounds like premarin is the wrong type for you.

      1. Hi,
        I had a lap hysterectomy almost 5 weeks ago removal of uterus and cervix and tubes they left my one ovary, I had the other removed 3 years ago due to a dermoid cyst having the hysterectomy caused a massive hematoma on the right side of my stomach which only stop bleeding one week ago, I had a mild infection to the lap site in my tummy button which I’m nearly at the end of my antibiotics, I have had mild discharge since my op but now it is more blood stained, is this normal? I have become extremely emotional because I’m aching in all my joints is this a side effect from the op? When will I be able to drive and pick up my one year old daughter? I’m due to go back to work in a week in a very busy restaurant, one of my roles is to sort the food delivery 3 times a week, the worry is giving me sleepless nights is it normal for me to feel this emotional? I’m only 35 and normally I’m very fit and well with loads of energy, feel like a old lady :-( sorry this is long winded just needed to talk to someone who understands xx

  15. For now I called off my surgery, it was scheduled for March 17, 2015. I’m trying to get a 2nd opinion with a different hospital, since I can’t get it there at the same hospital. I signed all the forms to go through the surgery, but when I went on line and started reading books, and talking to my sisters about why haven’t they gone through the surgery? Since all three have Endometriosis including myself, and my mom had it too, and she went through a surgery in her mid 40’s and I’m 47 years old. I just hope I’m doing the right thing, since this same surgeon did my 1st operation in July of last year, because I had 2 large cysts size of grape fruits on my both ovaries and battling infection because of my cysts. Well they couldn’t do the Hysterectomy and this Dr. and his team saved my life. Well after all this Dr. tried me on Luprone to reduce my Estrogen and stopped my periods and that gave me side effects of menopause. The mood swings, hormone unbalance and angry all the time, well in the meantime I went shopping for some teas and found a herbal tea called Tension Tamer which I bought Jewel stores, that herbal tea I drink it 2x’s a day before my hot flashes coming or after and feel my relieve and relax, I read on there that it has catnip. My friend also has recommended lavender I haven’t found it yet, but continue to look for it. So for tonight I thought about what I did by cancelling my surgery and afraid what if I can’t find the 2nd opinion, since what I had in July might come back and this doctor is right, he’s one the top surgeons one out of three in his floor at this
    teaching hospital. Please feed backs are very welcome.

  16. i had a total hysterectomy(overies,womb, and cervix)12months ago. I am 67yrs old.went along to my GP after losing tiny amounts of blood , thought it may be a polip.After a DNC op it was found I had a large fibroid which they took a biopsy from. It was foun d to have stage one cancer cells forming> I was advised to have a total hysterectomy,which was performed within two weeks of this consultation. Now you may be suprised to learn because of my age that I too am suffering from most of the afore mentioned symptoms in prevous posts.Sadness,depression,anger,lost my womenhood, feel ugly.So tired,my body doesnt feel or even look as though it belongs to me.Prior to this op I hardly had a line or wrinkle on my face or any other part of my body.It feels overnight my skin is that of an eighty year oid.My son lives in London so when he visited at Christmas he hadnt seen me for six months. I saw the look of shock on his face when he greeted me, despite having made an effort to dress up and had my makeup on. I have had cronic back pain and joint pains night sweats, which I hardly suffered during menapaus,These symptoms are much worse that post menopause. Feel totally alone, I have always been a very sociable person , full of fun, the happy person who cheers others up. My personality has completely changed . Have no confidence in going out or dressing up. Despite constantly watching what I eat, cutting out allthings bad eating healthy, chicken,fish, no red meat fruit and fresh veg, I continue to gain weight I hardly have any salt in my diet as I have high BP and i take tablets for water retention. Just to put this out there feels cathartic and to know I am not the only one to feel the way Ido. Thank god I found this site.Good luck to you all and I hope your recovery is a good one.

  17. i had a total hysterectomy(overies,womb, and cervix)12months ago. I am 67yrs old.went along to my GP after losing tiny amounts of blood , thought it may be a polip.After a DNC op it was found I had a large fibroid which they took a biopsy from. It was foun d to have stage one cancer cells forming> I was advised to have a total hysterectomy,which was performed within two weeks of this consultation. Now you may be suprised to learn because of my age that I too am suffering from most of the afore mentioned symptoms in prevous posts.Sadness,depression,anger,lost my womenhood, feel ugly.So tired,my body doesnt feel or even look as though it belongs to me.Prior to this op I hardly had a line or wrinkle on my face or any other part of my body.It feels overnight my skin is that of an eighty year oid.My son lives in London so when he visited at Christmas he hadnt seen me for six months. I saw the look of shock on his face when he greeted me, despite having made an effort to dress up and had my makeup on. I have had cronic back pain and joint pains night sweats, which I hardly suffered during menapaus,These symptoms are much worse that post menopause. Feel totally alone, I have always been a very sociable person , full of fun, the happy person who cheers others up. My personality has completely changed . Have no confidence in going out or dressing up. Despite constantly watching what I eat, cutting out allthings bad eating healthy, chicken,fish, no red meat fruit and fresh veg, I continue to gain weight I hardly have any salt in my diet as I have high BP and i take tablets for water retention. Just to put this out there feels cathartic and to know I am not the only one to feel the way Ido. Thank god I found this site.Good luck to you all and I hope your recovery is a good one.

    1. I so feel for you Mary. I stumbled upon this site after researching why my joints have me totally unmotivated and feeling so old at 59. This isn’t the first time, but the pain today and for a number of days over the last few months has me in tears. I have not had a hysterectomy but I am surprised at the number of common symptoms I share with you. I have an upcoming foot surgery (toe osteotomy) on Monday and know I am stressed by this as well. I had a total foot osteotomy about 16 months ago, and for some reason the little toe didn’t take. Another 6 weeks with my foot elevated, a large pin sticking out of my little toe, unable to work, yes…I’m very stressed. I sincerely hope you find a solution or treatment for what you are going through. I will pray for you as I know how you feel.

  18. stephanie joacine says :

    I am so sad…i just dont want to be intimate at all. I love my husband, we love each other..but its just so very sad that i dont have desire anymore. I had a full hysterectomy March 9th, 2015-had post menapausal bleeding and when they operated they found a mass the size of a slightly deflated soccor ball in the uterus-cancer free thank God- I have physically recovered very well. Surgeon said that I was a great healer. Wished I knew about how this would be affecting my psyche!
    I hope and pray that things turn around for me soon!!! Good luck to all!

  19. I had a total hysterectomy (everything including ovaries removed) back in early Feb 2015, at first i was sore but seemed to heal great, after the first months though everything seemed to start to go downhill, i would have days where i had good levels of energy, and days where i couldnt stop yawning and just wanted to sleep. The physical symptons were a bit up and down, some days i felt sore and my stomach area would swell but generally the physical side was ok and to be expected, the scariest part was the onset of panic attacks, heart racing, feeling like i couldnt breathe, waking up feeling so down and helpless, bursting into tears at the least little things. These combined with the sweats, flushes etc has made me feel that after 5 months im sliding backwards, i can honestly say i felt better overal after just a month of the operation. Now my life seems to be all upset down emotionally. My Doctor for some reason wont give me HRT, i am 49 and there is a history of deep vein thrombosis in my family, but iv never had it, so i dont know if this is why, but they seem reluctant to give me HRT, instead he prescribed the anti depressant Citalopram 10mg dose, i have only taken this for a few days but the side effects are horrendous, extreme nausea, not been able to sleep, then extreme drowsiness and dizziness, i have decided i am going to try to get through this without medicinal help. Prior to seeing the Doc i was taking St Johns Wort, which did seem to ease the anxiety etc, and if i can find something to help with the sweats thats herbal, then again i may try this route.
    I know if my symptons pesists i will have to go back to the Doctors but i really dont want to take antidepressants that have side effects, and then have to wean myself off them at some point. Has anyone any experience of this type of depression and can it ease off with medicines.

  20. Hello…my name is aymee and i am a whopping 27 years old with two beautiful boys. One is 4 the other 11 months. My story began when i was diagnosed eith hpv at 17. I was devasted then…i still am. Due to the virus ive had to undergo a LEEP procedure in november of 2014 after giving birth to my 2nd who was born in august 2014. I had carcinoma in situ stage lll…being that i was one step away from cercical cancer. the leep was successful in removing all the abnormal cells…margins were clear. I knew i wasnt out of the woods but it was a relief. Little did i know my body was producing abnormal cells within 6 months post op. Pap came back positive for abnormal cells again in may 2015 in which i was referred to a gyn oncologist. I never knew how fast my life could change in an instant….the gyn oncologist said bc my obgyn removed more than what she had to in novemeber (which i knew) that i had such little cervix left…with that being said he would not do another leep bc of high chances in damaging my bladder,rectum, etc. Id have to have a hysterectomy…he did offer me time to get a second opinion however my intuition says no doctor is gping to want to work on this….mr dr is one that i fully trust in…he has been practicing for more than 40 years with high honors and multiple certificates along the years as one of the best doctors in America . The referring doctors arw no wheres near the experience he has. I will go through with the hysterectomy…when? Well thats tp be scheduled yet. I feel besides myself…saddened by pictures commercials of newborn babies and friends pregnancies…a trigger to my emotions. I can say that God has blessed me with beautiful children and i have the most loving caring husband who supports me 100% along with an amazing support system of family and friends. I cant help but feel that this is a huge loss for me…being only 27 years old. So happy i found this blog…seeing im not alone in this and being able to relate to women who have actually had to live with this has given me some comfort. Still in shock and i expect to be for quite some time possibly for life.

  21. Hello,

    I am 26 years old. Last month I had my second child. my first is 7. I had a crazy pregnancy. Constantly having bad stomach pain, not associated with normal pregnancy pains. No one knew why. when I was 34 weeks the OB noticed babies tummy was small, in the 5% range. after going to a specialist, they agreed baby wasnt growing and it was better to give birth. So I had a CSection at 37 to the day. We were already planning a CSection and I was going to get my tubes cut.

    Well during the surgery the OB found that the placenta grew in to the muscle of my uterus. I had to have it removed. I was mentally prepared for the tubes but I am having a hard time dealing with the hysterectomy. I feel I dont have a right to be upset since I was planning on not having children anymore. Most days I am fine, but I have really bad down days and dont know how to feel.

    I have not found anyone my age who has had a hysterectomy. Everyone is a lot older and or all I get is pitty conversations. I have not told anyone other then my inlaws and a couple of friends who are like sisters. My husband is doing his best but its not the same.

    I dont feel the need to go to a therapist or get happy pills. Not sure what to do.

  22. I feel relieved to know I am not alone. I am 40 and just had a vaginal hysterectomy (a little more than two weeks ago). My ovaries were not removed and I have been surprised by my emotional state. Physically I feel okay; low energy and tired, but no pain. Emotionally is another story. I feel depressed, filled with anxiety, completely overwhelmed by everything. I even question how I have handled everything before…it all seems like too much.

    What I find interesting is that while I never gave birth, I have three adopted children. I have never had more than a passing interest in having babies. So while it makes sense that one would be “mourning” the loss of their fertility, in my case it seems odd. It is not like I was interested in my fertility before!

    I am avoiding everything. I have one friend I am okay being around but that is it. Otherwise it is just my partner and my kids/stepkids. and I am letting my 8 and 10 year olds watch a lot of tv. I just can’t deal.

  23. Grateful to have found this thread of women, talking about post-op experiences. I have had my hysterectomy in two stages. First, several years ago, my uterus was taken out. I was 57 so I was not having children. Still, there was grief.
    I wasn’t so much surprised by it… as I was surprised by the rage that showed up in my pelvic floor a few years later. It has taken me on a journey that is still ongoing. Last week I had my ovaries and fillopian tubes removed. I had a positive OVA-1 test, which indicates the possibility to ovarian cancer.
    It, thankfully, was not cancer. It was a cyst that was LARGER than my little ovary! And shaped like an angry little uterus, full of endomitriosis-material. Good gosh!
    So, now, fourth day since surgery and I had the hubris to think I would be back in the office Tuesday. I doubt my week will look anything like I thought.
    The gas they fill the gut up with, to see the organs, seeped into the layers by the fascia and I am swollen up as if I were five months pregnant on the right side.
    And it hurts, of course.
    I am unsure when I am trying to be a hero and when I am just complaining.

    I think I need to give myself a wider berth for healing. My partial hysterectomy did not have the complication of this huge cyst coming out. The scar is wider than any other. I was back on my horse, literally, two weeks post-op last time. Somehow, I doubt this is going to be the same course of healing.
    I want to stay out of the drama and neurotic suffering and be grateful IT IS NOT CANCER! I am not preparing to undergo chemotherapy. I am so fortunate. It may take two or three weeks for the swelling to go down, maybe longer, but I can work with this and not against it.

    Thank you all for listening. I hope you have mended since you last wrote and that you received the support you needed.

  24. Hello everyone, I hope this finds everyone doing well. I am 67 yrs old and had a complete hysterectomy on Sept 23rd. Prior to that I had a huge fibroid in my uterus that showed pre cancerous cells so the Dr thought it best to have the hysterectomy. I had the robot assisted surgery where they (were supposed to make 3 tiny incisions) however, for some reason they had to make 4 little incisions. I thought I was doing ok, yes the pain (more like soreness) was and has been tough, but today I got out of bed and went to let my dogs out and noticed the rug runner was all messed up, I looked around my house and just started to cry. I am a finicky housekeeper, everything has a place and needs to be in it’s place. My husband, bless his soul, works a full time job and then has to come home to take care of me so I don’t nag him about getting things done around the house that I would normally do. I want to let it go and say “I don’t care what my house looks like”, but it’s hard. His idea of cooking dinner is ordering out, I cannot tell you how tired I am of fast Then I realized, I don’t think my emotions today have anything to do with my disheveled house, it’s more about my hormones or the lack thereof. I also have a very very long history of kidney stone surgeries, as a matter of fact my hysterectomy was postponed because I had to have a kidney stone surgery 2 weeks prior to my hysto. I have had 14 kidney stone surgeries just in the last two years, then now this hysterectomy. So it’s been a few years since I have felt really really good. I’m not a patient person at all, I want to feel good NOW and I know that’s just not the case. I have to take things slowly, but in my head I’m like when does this end? I try to be strong and think that there are people out there that are in far worse shape than I am and to stop complaining, but sometimes, like today, it just got the best of me. My Dr doesn’t want to put me on HRT just yet, not sure why, I have a follow up appointment with him tomorrow and I will ask him about it then. I don’t want to take antidepressants, I hate anything that gives me awful side affects, but I really don’t want to become and emotional mess like I am today. I just feel like my emotions are all over the place right now, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel after having this surgery, I don’t know how long I’m supposed to feel bad, I don’t know what to expect from the future after this surgery. My Dr is awesome, I like him, but he’s one of those that only tells you things on a need to know basis. I ask a lot of questions which I feel I have the right to do when you are messing with my body, but I’m the type that needs answers. A good example of that is the day after my surgery I asked him why 4 incisions instead of 3, his answer was, “I needed a helper” what does that even mean, a helper for what? So tomorrow I will ask him the same question and see if I can finally get an answer..TBD Well, I guess I’m done here, I just needed to vent I think, the tears have dried up but they aren’t far away, guess this is just how my day is going to go and I have to accept it. I do wish all of you the very best in your recovery and have enjoyed reading all your posts. God Bless you All.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked by *.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This